[ By the way, if you're interested in time travel the next meeting is last Thursday.]
I'm not as computer savvy as I thought! So, I decide to create a website and (groan) it ain't like falling off a log . I chose WIX.com and it seems to be pretty user friendly. But I think the "friendliness" goes downhill as you get older. I'm 78 so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! Anyway, slowly but surely..........
August 5th, 2019
Well, here we go again. Next day. Dealer number two. Walking in, I notice that they have free popcorn so already I'm liking this place. I also spot the rest rooms and calculate how long it will take me to get there in case I need to hide from the salesman. If I stand on the toilet seat with the door closed, they won't find me even if they look under the door. No one rushes over to me with a butterfly net to make sure I don't get away. I'm starting to feel more relaxed. Keep your guard up I say to myself. It may be just wishful thinking. All the sales people scurrying around sure look pretty tame. Maybe it's a ruse. Is that the right word? Any way, the cutie at the desk asks if she can help me. I'm tempted to say yes, if you want to play "carnival" with me. (that's where she sits on my face and I try to guess her weight). But I play it straight and ask to speak with a sales person. He appears out of nowhere like that guy from the movie KPAX. He introduces himself and I like him right away. He's real. No layers to peel off to get to the genuine article. I tell him what I'm looking for and he goes and gets a set of keys. Handing them to me he tells me to take it for a spin. By myself if I'd prefer. And, for as long as I like. Yes, I prefer. I tell him I'll call him from Florida in a couple of days. He laughs. I like it when they laugh at my dumb jokes. I drive it for about 15 or 20 minutes. It's raining and kinda slippery. I'm hoping that I won't be walking back into the show room with just the bumper and part of the left headlight assembly. August 15th
I knew what to expect before I walked into the show room. Did I do a one-eighty and beat feet? Nope! In I went. The guy who sold me my last car was at his desk and pounced on me as if I was the hapless fly who stumbled into his web. Take a deep breath Steve, I thought to myself, here we go. I had seen an SUV on their website that looked like what I was in the market for. 0% percent for up to 72 months he said. Breathe Steve breathe. My rapid heart rate slowed considerably when I found out that there was practically no discount from the sticker price if I opted for the 0%. RATS! I make an offer. He says no way Jose (I tell him it's Steve, not Jose). I'm out the door to look at another brand of SUV tomorrow morning. Now where did I put the Aleve?
Well, I did it! But I resisted springing for the "top of the line" cause it just seemed like a waste of money for what they were giving me for an extra three grand. Navigation? I have a GPS. Wipers that come on when it starts to rain? I think not! Chrome strip under the doors? The Black looks nicer. Heated steering wheel? I wonder if it knows to come on when it starts to snow. And probably a few more things that I could actually live without. I must admit I was a bit taken aback when, after I signed on the dotted line, the salesman handed me a round trip ticket to Seattle. Turns out that's where Boeing makes the 747-400 jumbo. I was going to be trained in the simulator for 3 solid days [quiz on the third day...NOT multiple choice] because the dash in the SUV closely resembles the 747's cockpit!
More to come. Very tired.....probably jet-lag.
Did I forget to mention that ......I passed! The graduation certificate was a Boeing reflective bumper sticker. I now know what every push button, dial, switch, meter, indicator light, cryptic symbol, warning beep, lever and knob means or does. The folks at Boeing also shared a little known perk [pun intended...read on] of my new SUV. If executed in the following sequence: left turn signal on, fog lights on, AC set to 73 degrees, radio tuned to a folk-rock station and passenger visor vanity mirror light on, a concealed door on the dash slides open and a robotic arm comes out holding an 8 oz cup of hot black coffee which it proceeds to place in the driver's cup holder. [Warning, make sure there is nothing in the cup holder]. The addition of cream and sugar is covered in the advanced class. The thing that irks me the most is having to call the control tower each time I'm ready to back out of the driveway!
I've been feeling a little weird lately. Almost impossible to describe what I mean by that. Nothing I can put my finger on. No major happening that I could point to and say "Ah ha! That's why I'm feeling like this." And, not in a funk. One thing I will admit is that I'm now convinced that I will not live forever. Up until now I was sure that dying was something that only happened to other people. So far I've been right. Kind of like the guy who fell off the top of the Empire State building and about half way down he thought to himself "so far I'm doing ok." Maybe that's it! Maybe I'm that guy.
Well, I finally bit the bullet and transferred my website using WiX.com. So now, all you have to enter in the URL field is shavkin.com and lo & behold, there I am! Transferring my domain name was on a par with trying to find the red ping pong ball in a room filled with white ping pong balls except that you're blind folded! Holy crap. Fortunately, a tech at my old web hosting company took me under his wing and kinda walked me through it. Otherwise, it might have never happened.
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